Tuesday 11 January 2022

My 2022 Goals

I sat down and thought about the New Year goals I’ve set over the years, and decided I wanted to make some of them a bit more specific. I learned last year to break seemingly insurmountable goals into smaller, more manageable stages – it seems super obvious, I know, but it’s taken so long for that to sink in properly for me. 

A lot of these goals are going to be longer-term than a year, but they’re all things I want to work hard on this year and move forward with. As always I want to make a list of them here to hold myself accountable.



Do Red January 


Before Christmas, I saw banners in my gym about Red January. The point of it is to exercise every day of the month, to help your physical and mental health after the Christmas indulgence and inevitable comedown. You don’t have to do any particular type of exercise, and it’s up to you how much you do daily. 

I decided to challenge myself to at least 30 minutes of exercise, of any kind, per day. CFS might throw a spanner in the works, but the hope is that I can kick-start my motivation with getting back to looking after my body and mind. When you sign up, you’re automatically given a fundraising page. All the money raised goes to Sport in Mind, a mental health charity that focuses on the benefits of sport and exercise. I know January is a skint month for everyone, but here’s my page if you want to follow my progress and consider donating – I win a Red January 2022 pin badge if I get to £31 (a pound for every day of the month). 

Exercise at least 3x/week 


Once January is over, I will strive to get as much exercise as I can. However, I’ll be a bit easier on myself. Exercising every single day, long-term, won’t be sustainable and my perfectionism will bully me for not meeting such a lofty goal. So instead, I’ll set my exercise goal at 3 times a week – if I do more, that’s great. If I do less, I want to try not to beat myself up about it. Overall, I just want to get stronger and fitter. 

A sub-goal here is that I want to be able to do one unassisted pull-up by the end of the year. We’ll see how that goes! 

Continue to build freelancing work & looking for a job


This is super important to me. I really need to keep working on getting my career on track so I can actually live my life independently and feel like I actually have a purpose. At the time of posting this, I have already had two queries and completed one freelance job. I'm hoping this is setting a good precedent for the year.

Read at least 15 books 


I can’t believe I failed this goal in 2021 – I’ve consistently read at least 15 books every year for a long time now. I want to make sure I make time for reading because I really enjoy it and find it mindful/calming. 

Save money 


This is always going to be a goal. I need to save as much as I can for big future things like getting my car and moving into my own place. I would also like to save money for travel and experiences. 

Write in diary every day 


I successfully did this last year and found it really helpful to keep a record of everything, so I’m doing it again this year. I got this cute af bee design diary from Paperchase – there’s nothing better than having a gorgeous book to write in every day. 

Go on at least one trip 


Another goal that I always strive for, and hopefully it won’t be all the way at the end of the year this time! I still don’t think I’m ready to go abroad, with the Covid situation continuing to be a pain, but there’s plenty of places here in the UK I’d like to visit. 

Finish getting driving licence 


As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m going to start taking automatic lessons instead of manual as my clutch leg is too temperamental. I already know how to drive, I just need to learn all of my manoeuvres and get as good as possible before taking my test. 

A secondary goal to this, depending on passing the test/my finances, is to get my first car! 

Write at least 500 words a day 


A few weeks ago, Will gave me a challenge. I’m always moaning to him about what a crap writer I am and how I never manage to get any of my personal writing projects done (see my utter failure at last year’s blog backlog goal for reference). I always have writer’s block, or just can’t find the motivation to want to write for myself. Will said I ought to try to write 500 words every day this year, of anything, as long as it’s readable and coherent. Because it was framed as a challenge, I of course had to do it. I’m hoping it’ll be a helpful exercise and get me actually producing content that has sat stagnant for years. I’ve made a spreadsheet and everything, that’s how serious I am. As of today, I’ve already done 6600 words since January 1, which averages out at about 660 a day. Killing it!

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I hope I’m able to stick to my goals, but not obsess over them and berate myself for perceived ‘failures’ (part of practicing being less of a perfectionist). What sort of goals have you set for yourselves? As always, I’d love to know. Of course, because I care – but mostly because I want to nick your good ideas.

Monday 3 January 2022

2021: Year in Review

I feel like I marvel every year about how quickly time flies by, and this year is no different. 2021 has simultaneously rushed past and dragged on for what feels like centuries. A lot has happened, but I’ve still felt pretty stagnant as my life (and the whole world) is still mostly on hold. There have been some wins and high points, but I won’t deny that there have been mostly lows and I’ve had a difficult time with both my physical and mental health. As a result, this post might be a bit moan-y at times.

To get it out of the way, let’s address the microscopic elephant in the room – Covid is still wreaking havoc on the planet with new and exciting variants popping up regularly. It’s a long, frustrating slog and I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s completely tired of it. This year held a positive note on this front though – I am now fully vaxxed! I got my second dose of Pfizer in August, and had my booster jab just one week ago (Moderna – yessss, Dolly Parton’s one!). I’ve been abundantly cautious and still haven’t yet had Covid, even when my whole household had it. I consider myself really lucky.

The Job Sitch

I have been applying for jobs all year. I’ve had a few interviews and tonnes of rejections, but I’m still doggedly looking. If you know anyone who requires a writer/editor, hmu (I’m only partially joking). In October, I decided to start freelancing to fill the gap, keep my writing muscles working, and make some money. It’s not much, and it’s still early days, but I’ve already earned a little bit and I want to try to keep it going and build up my freelance business in the New Year.

Driving

In April, I made a huge decision to start driving. I’d just never gotten around to it before – I’m lucky to have always had good public transport connections in the places I’ve lived, and just never thought it was worth the expense. However, with my health and possibly needing to commute for work in the future, I decided it was time to get going. Better late than never! In June, I took my theory test and passed it first time. As it stands now, I can drive – I just need to neaten up my manoeuvres and ‘git gud’ before I can take my practical test.

Unfortunately I had to stop driving lessons for the last few months of the year because my bad knee has decided to go kaputt, and of course it’s the leg I need for the clutch pedal which means I can’t drive safely (or at all, if it’s bad). I was absolutely gutted.

Knee Woes

That kind of leads us neatly to my next Big Thing of 2021. My left knee has been a thorn in my side (leg?) since the age of 15. After going to physiotherapy and starting at the gym, my muscles were supporting it a lot more and it seemed to be stable. But in May, it locked up for the first time in about 3 years.

Following this was a looooong process to get referred to the hospital and see an advanced physiotherapist, which finally happened in September. She’s decided to order an MRI of my knees because it appears to be cartilage-related. However, due to the Covid backlog and how swamped the NHS has been for months, I don’t even have an appointment for the scan yet. I have no idea when they’ll be able to get me in.

In the meantime, my left knee is getting worse, and my right knee is also deteriorating because of the overcompensation. I’m on painkillers that I only take when it’s really bad because the side effects are crap, and started another antidepressant which also helps to mitigate pain. It’s really depressing that it’ll probably be years before it can be completely fixed, unless I win a shitload of money.

Mental Health

I’ve also not had the easiest year with my mental health (who has, am I right?) – depression has been difficult to contend with, and was especially bad in the winter. I also experienced quite a big uptick in anxiety. This is probably unsurprising, considering my personal life and the state of the world in general, but it still threw me for a loop.

On a more positive note, I’ve identified one of my major problems after talking with a psychologist – perfectionism. And I don’t mean that in the job interview ‘good thing disguised as a weakness way’. I set myself ridiculously high standards and unattainable goals all the time, and feel guilty all the time for ‘not being good enough’. It’s something that debilitates me, stops me from pursuing life goals, and has a huge knock-on effect on my self-esteem and mental health. I’ve been doing a course to understand this problem better and learn ways to manage my way of thinking. I hope it’ll be helpful.

Weight Loss

I’m now sitting at about halfway to my weight loss goal! I’m still counting calories and exercising as regularly as I can. In the summer, my weight loss suddenly plateaued and I started finding it harder to lose as regularly. I think I’m getting close to my body’s Ideal Weight.

In September, I tried to ‘reset’ my metabolism by going up to maintenance calories and then back to deficit every fortnight. I haven’t noticed an enormous change from doing this, but I also relaxed a bit in the winter and over Christmas. I’m planning to weigh myself on Friday, and get back to being more disciplined again.

Live Music

This year, I got to see some live music again for the first time since 2019. In June, I virtually attended Gary Numan’s global album premiere of Intruder. It wasn’t the same as being at a venue, but it was still so good to see a live performance from one of my favourite musicians. He was so brilliant and entertaining that I immediately booked a ticket to see him in person on his UK tour in April!

In October, I went to see Fascinating Aïda. They’re a triplet of seemingly classy ladies who write and sing songs that are rude, hilarious, topical, and sometimes really thought-provoking. I was introduced to them by Caroline (who is friends with them), and we vowed to see them together one day. This finally happened in 2021 when we went to Yeovil, the most horrible town ever. The rest of the trip was crap, but I’d still do it again to see them. The gig was brilliant, and we got to have a little meet and chat with them afterwards (they are all very nice and vibrant).

I’ve also attended a couple of my friend Will’s choir concerts, one of which was in the gorgeous Bath Abbey. I haven’t seen a choral concert in a long time, so I’ve been thoroughly spoiled this year. It’s such a joy to listen to live singing again, I’d forgotten how much I missed it.

Travel

Obviously travel has been a bit of a dud in 2021, with continuing restrictions and uncertainty. I have gone back and forth to Bath quite regularly, to meet friends, but I’ve only had one ‘real’ trip right at the end of the year. I went to London overnight, had a blast, and managed to avoid getting Covid. I’m going to be writing a proper blog about the trip as soon as possible. I hope I can make more trips in 2022.

Other Highlights

  •  Making a new friend! I so rarely click with people so this was a really nice surprise.
  •  First meal out in a restaurant for over a year.
  • Also first cinema visit in ages – Holly, Ali and I went to see Venom: Let There Be Carnage (brilliant).
  • Mochi’s ‘gotcha day' – had this lil rascal for over a year now

  • Doing my Myers-Briggs and finding out I’m INFJ, supposedly the rarest personality type.
  • Cooking and baking adventures, some of my favourites being: Currywurst, spinach and feta turkey burgers, Parkin, gingerbread Yule log, and stollen.
  • A really lovely Christmas, when I managed to see a lot of family members and eat with gay abandon.
  • My brother and his partner got a new dog – a Husky!! – and he’s gorgeous.

2021 Goal Recap

Go on at least one trip – Yes, just! As I said before, my London trip was in December. Unless you count a few overnights in Bath, in which case I’ve been on a few more.

Learn to drive – I’ve passed my theory test and know how to drive, I just need to polish it and get test-ready. I like to say I’ve gotten half a licence.

Keep saving money – The savings I started with this year are intact, but I haven’t been able to save any more this year. To be honest, I’ve been a bit too relaxed with money and want to start building savings again.

Get back into paid work – I don’t have a ‘conventional’ job yet, despite my best efforts. I have however earned some money from freelancing – it isn’t much but it’s a start.

Gym/exercise at least 3 times a week – Looking back on my habit charts (so useful to have), I've only had a few weeks in which I haven’t exercised at least 3 times, and even those have at least one day of exercise. I didn’t realise just how well I’d done with it until now, so I’m really pleased.

Read 15 books – This year I read 14 books so I just missed this goal. As is my custom, here’s a list of the books I read in 2021:

  • The Andromeda Strain by Michael Crichton
  • 11.22.63 by Stephen King
  • Surviving the Evacuation: Mort Vivant by Frank Tayell
  • Surviving the Evacuation: Where There’s Hope by Frank Tayell
  • Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? by Caitlin Doughty
  • Bucket, F*ck It, Done It List by Sara Kinninmont
  • The Day the Nazis Came by Stephen R. Matthews
  • A Slip Under the Microscope by H.G. Wells
  • Saving Mona Lisa by Gerri Chanel
  • 20th Century Ghosts by Joe Hill
  • The House Next Door by James Patterson
  • Regeneration by Pat Barker
  • Unnatural Causes by Dr Richard Shepherd
  • Wabi Sabi by Beth Kempton

Complete Yearly Purge – It has actually become a habit to do this every year. It’s really therapeutic to sort through all of my things and get rid of stuff I don’t need or use.

Continue calorie counting/weight loss – Apart from the aforementioned plateau and slacking off in December yes! I plan to be right back on it now.

Get a tattoo – Once again, nope. To be honest, I’m kind of losing interest in this one at the moment – I have other priorities for now.

Create a blog post backlog – Absolutely not, I’ve been a complete slacker with my personal writing. The only ‘real’ writing I’ve done has been for my freelance clients. I’m planning to fix that this year (seriously this time).

Write in daily diary – Yes, I actually stuck to it! Writing an entry every day, just recording what happened, has been really helpful for my short-term memory.

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That sums up my 2021, as concisely as a waffler like me could manage. I hope everyone has a much better 2022!

Monday 4 January 2021

2021 Goals

I went into 2020 feeling really hopeful, and we all know how that turned out. In 2021, I imagine that Covid-19 will still dictate a lot of our lives, but I think it’s important set targets. I’m trying to be as optimistic as possible that things will be less unpredictable and horrible this year. As always, these are not resolutions – they are goals to aim for.

Go on at least one trip

Obviously this one is completely subject to any travel restrictions there might be, but I’d like to have at least one trip. I don’t care if it’s in-country or abroad, I just want to see somewhere new.

Learn to drive

I mentioned in my previous post that I meant to do this in 2020, and that I’ve been studying for my theory test. I plan to book that sometime in the new year, when I’ve studied my theory book and am happy with my knowledge. I also want to start practical lessons, restrictions allowing, and I hope to have my licence by the end of the year. I’d like to get a car if and when I have enough money saved.

Keep saving money

I did really well with saving last year. I came back from Japan with a decent amount of money left (kind of wish I hadn’t and just blew it all on more Japanese stuff and trying wagyu beef), then I saved all of my birthday money, spent a lot less due to the lockdowns. Even despite joining a gifting group, I’ve managed to hang onto a bit of cash every month so I’ve got quite a nice wedge saved. Most of it will go towards driving lessons and passing my tests, but I want to continue the habit of saving up this year for future things like a car, trips, and my future.

Get back into paid work

I’d applied for a couple of things last year, when people were even hiring, but I didn’t get lucky. I had one call-back which was really promising because they loved my CV, but they needed someone with a driving licence. I was pretty gutted. This year I’m redoubling my efforts to get back into paid work before I stagnate again, and I don’t imagine that my 2020 employment gap will raise many questions as a lot of people ended up out of work or unable to get back into work last year. I am still hoping to hear back from a job I applied to before Christmas, but the hopes aren’t very high as they were supposed to start interviews before the New Year. However, with Christmas and the new tiers coming into place, I hope they’ve been delayed and that I will hear something. I just need a chance.

Exercise at least 3 times a week

This can be going to the gym, having a walk at least 3 miles long, or weights and core work at home. It doesn’t really matter which, as long as I manage at least three times a week. Exercise is very helpful for my brain, but I do have to watch how I go because of CFS. Three times a week seems to be the sweet spot – any less isn’t enough to keep me strong and boost my mood, any more means a lot of pain and being stuck in bed recovering for a few days.

Read at least 15 books

I nearly didn’t complete this last year because of lack of concentration and my general ennui with life. I always like to get a decent amount of reading in every year because there are SO MANY BOOKS in the ‘to read’ pile under my bed. Not to mention all of the books on my wishlist that I want to read.

Complete Yearly Purge

This is an annual tradition of mine, involving completely decluttering my space and mind. I find it super helpful to get rid of stuff and organise the things I keep. I also really need to organise the files on my laptop because they’re a mess.

Get to goal weight

I’m hopeful that this can be achieved this year if I keep going I have been. I set a good precedent last year – I lost almost 2 stone, and only put on 0.88lb over Christmas by some miracle. My goal is a pound a week, slow and sustainable. I’m basically going to continue calorie counting and getting as much exercise as I’m able to.

Create a blog post backlog

For a while, I’ve wanted to write up a bunch of drafts that I’ve got ideas for but just never sat down and did them. Having chronic writer’s block doesn’t help. I need to get back into the habit of writing regularly, so I’m stepping away from posting blogs for a while (unless I go somewhere or do something cool). This is so I can focus on all of my ideas and get a good batch of ~content together to post on a more consistent basis. We’ll see how well that works.

Write in daily diary

I got a day-to-page diary because I always forget what I did in a day (my short-term memory has all but disappeared – again, thanks CFS). I want to make sure I write in it every day this year to see if it helps improve my memory. Secondarily, it might also help to write something every day, even if it is just summing up what happened.

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What are your goals for the year? Please tell me so I can potentially nick them from you!